Etiquette: Governessing can make you self aware – which is a good thing as it helps you grow

Governessing makes you really aware of how you act and how easy it is for others to misinterpret your actions.  I have felt it has made me a better communicator and improved my ability to look at both sides of the situation.  I also think it has made me look at the mistakes and personalities of my parents, who I love dearly but are not perfect, and change or admit to my own actions and habits.

Etiquette: Support your Governess when she is trying to rectify behavioural issues

Show you support what your governess is saying and the behaviour plans she has put in place, and
tell her what your children best respond to.   

Do not undermine the governesses’ authority to the children. Show that you respect her in front of the kids.  

If you have issues with your Governess, discuss these with him/her in private rather than in front of the children.   

Remember kids have big ears even when they are support to be in bed or outside.

Etiquette: Flexible

Being flexible means if emergency situations or out of the normal situation occur then a governess or parent can do what needs to be done.   

It does not mean that the governess on a regular takes the clothes off the line or looks after the children for longer hours on a regular basis.  It does mean when mustering early the governess may step in a look after the kids in the morning. It may only happen in busy seasons such as mustering, marking, shearing, crutching, etc.  That is not considered regular.

The Rule:  If it happens more than twice a week then if is a regular part of the job.

Etiquette: Job Seekers need to reply to emails if they want respect (this goes for employer too)

A parent recently made contact with a person on the Resume / CV list. This is the parents explanation... "We emailed and then I sent my job description as she asked – with no reply.  Weeks have passed now and she did not have the common decency to get back to me."  

It is common courtesy to reply to future employers when they might send out their job description even if they do not think the position is right for them.  There is nothing more frustrating when you have a few people that you are contacting and trying to keep track of all the communication is hard enough without some of them not even replying to you. 

Etiquette: In Home Carers are employed to care for the children

The meaning of In Home Carer is different than governess or nanny but can include these roles.

In Home Carers role is to help with anything to do with the children.

This may include

Ø       Providing them with games and activities, some of which are learning activities, at least one per day.

Ø       meal preparation – cooking with kids is a great learning activity

Ø       wash children's clothes (with care - not just overflow the washing machine with a week of washing)

Ø       cleaning and vacuuming areas the children are in (to a high standard - not just push toys under the bed)

Ø       bathing children (includes picking up bath toys, hang up towels, empty bath after children finish)

Ø       read to the children (at least one book a day)

Ø       Or any other task to do with the children’s care.

BUT be reasonable.  They are not the child's mother; they are just a carer who is responsible for those children within that time. You are paying for that responsibility; you are not employing a housekeeper. 

IF you want them to do more housekeeping (that is not child related) than childcare then pay accordingly.

Etiquette: Be careful what you tell you family and friends at home

Be professional, it is part of our job confidentiality not to tell people about all the job’s details.      My parents, parents on the school system, and even some friends I just tell them the same old thing it is going great.  I never tell them the private details and problems just the good things, you know the funny moments with the kids, the basics of what is happening. Superficial information. 

If you do need to talk always say if you are telling something in confidence. 

Trusted sources: Schools also have counselors, In Home Care officer staff, Governess Australia, your employers.

A big room with 3 kids that love to argue.  Given them areas to be responsible for meant 

less arguments but more running around for me.

Etiquette: Being an IN HOME CARER or GOVERNESS means planning daily activities and caring for the children

If your primary role is to supervise the children in the schoolroom then it will pretty clear on what you need to do within a day.  You will still need to do extra research and be prepared but you will be supplied with the basics.

If you are not in the classroom then your Carers role will be different.  You may have a job where the parent is in the classroom and you are responsible for the younger students care.  You need to be able to provide, plan and research preschool activities for the children.  Each employer will have a different expectation but you should be providing them with stimulation that doesn’t involve mechanical or electronic devices.   Plan at least one sporty activity, one quiet time activity and one learning activity a day.

“In Home Care does not require the Carer to have any knowledge or understanding of early childhood education or development and they are not required to bring resources or materials to do activities with the children, so it has been my experience that the Carer often thinks that watching the children's channels on Austar with the children all day is OK - since they can't do housework!  The point is, that if they are not capable of doing appropriate childcare, then they need to do something in order to earn their wage - and it may well be housework.” quote from parent

Etiquette: You are not living with your parents anymore

Your boss is not your mother, it is not her job, to cook, clean, chase around after you, tell you to get off the couch and all those other jobs that a mother does.  Your boss is not your maid, cook or housekeeper.  Your boss employs you to do a job; she pays you money and supplies you with accommodation and many other perks. 

This is one of the few jobs in the world where employers provide personal accommodation and living expenses, so show appreciation by asking if she needs a hand or finding a regular chore for you to do to repay this.  You need to contribute to housework (not do all of it - just to contribute) to compensate for your own presence in the house.

Etiquette: I’m not Tina Sparkle, so don’t panic.

If I stay home for a weekend and spend it 

• in my room reading, 
• watching DVD’s, 
• texting and talk to friends, 
• or on the Internet

 DON"T PANIC, I am just taking some time out to recharge the batteries.  Have some ME time.

Living and working at you employment means you are on display constantly.  Then you go out on the weekend and smile all the time.  If your governess goes out for over half the weekends in the term she is going to need some weekends at home by herself and maybe even with the curtains down. 

Of course if she spends every weekend at home, then panic.  Or invite her out on water run, over for drinks and some fun.

PS Tina Sparkle is the character in Strictly Ballroom who smiles and performs all the time. 

My current oasis and the kids love it

Etiquette: As lovely as your children may be, they may also stretch the truth when telling you about happenings in the schoolroom

Even the best and most honest children know how to stretch things to make them smell of roses.  Need I say anymore.

Etiquette: CHILDREN NEED TO BE DOING THEIR OWN SCHOOLWORK. NOT WRITING YOUR IDEAS DOWN.

Give the children time to plan and think; don’t jump in to quick to assist with the answer. 

Most of the children I have taught think I know nothing about the important subjects such as writing, maths, spelling and literacy.  In fact often in the first term they tell their parents Miss Lee-Anne doesn’t know anything.  Many parent will laughingly relay the story.  When the kids gaining Independence and doing their work to the best of their ability I know I am doing my job write.

Please remember that children don’t always have an answer, especially if they haven’t practised or learnt it yet.

Etiquette: This is a Job NOT a holiday or a farmstay

You are an employee not a member of the family or best friend.  That is not to say you won't be close to them and be included on everything.   

Your employers do not want to be a parent to their governess, they have their own children.   

That is not to say they won’t support you when needed but they will expect you to act like an adult.  They shouldn’t have to say clean up your room or use your manners.  As an adult we are all responsible for our own behaviour.

 

Etiquette: Always ask - Governess Social Manners

Also always ask if they can use the phone or the computer (even if you have been told they are free to use it at any time). 

Always ask if there is anything you can do to help - i.e. never assume that the employer wanted her undies folded or her bed made (basic respect of privacy). 

If your employer has a house in town or you become friends with someone in town always ask to stay.  Even if they say you can stay anytime. 

Five years ago a teacher became friends with a governess, invited her to stay once and after that the governess just rocked up and stayed all the time, sometimes bringing other governess or male friends with her.  If employer has a house in town, some might not want all the governesses rocking up expecting to stay.  Talk to your boss about expectations.  One of my employers has a town house with heaps of beds and was more than happy for us to stay as long as I let her know.  I always said who was possibly staying and cleaned up after we left.

Etiquette: No fishing for gossip or trying to get other opinions

If people are fishing for gossip or trying to get your opinion on gossip about your employer or employees, BE VAGUE.  It is none of their business.   

If two parents or governesses are talking about someone else governess or a parent be aware that it is not right or fair.  Their personal and professional relationship is their business.  If you don’t have a good relationship of trust with the person you are talking to, then don’t talk.  Do not talk about other people’s governesses unless you absolutely trust the person not to say anything to anyone else. 

Etiquette: Do not try to poach someone else's governess for the next year before the start of term 4

It is just plan rude before that.  

This law was explained to me by a parent 12 years ago after she had watched me at our Term 2 minischool be unofficially interviewed without my consent.  As a governess you may be interested in that job but it feels disloyal to not be even halfway through your year before everyone knows exactly what you will be doing next year.

Etiquette: Everyone needs space no matter how well you get along

To keep a good relationship with governess and the family you both need space even if you or they say they don't need it, to last the year or more you do and leave with good feelings.  In a normal 9 to 5 jobs you would not be spending all of your time with your employers, at 5 O’clock you would go home and not see them until the next day.

Etiquette: Be up front about your Governess Job Description

It is your right to include anything you want in your job position, this may inlcude jobs outside the schoolroom, but be honest and pay accordingly, if you want them to garden on a regular basis then put it in your Job Description or Contract.  Some examples are available on the website on the Parent Page.

Etiquette - Confidentiality and Trust: Trust is built up over years but confidentiality is immediate when asked.

Your bosses and governesses personal business is just that PERSONAL.  Over the course of the position you will find information out about each others lives, often not because you are told but because you have observed it happening.  Employers and employees need to judge what is general information and what needs to be kept private. 

Also be aware other governesses or parents may talk but this should remain confidential and you should be able to trust them not to say anything or discuss the conversation with anyone else. 

Etiquette: Common Courtesy

Employee: Often governesses are being partly cooked and cleaned up after.  If employers provide meals and you use the facilities within their house then please help keep it tidy.  If you see a job, then please do it.  (I.E. wiping table or benches, putting away food, dishes)  In any living environment everyone need to do their part. 

Employers: If the governess has their own cottage or room, give them privacy.  Make sure the kids are not over their place on the weekend or after school unless invited.  Don’t expect the governess to be constantly doing your jobs as parents.