Story - Kelly Porka

This little adventure / story that happened in 2007....I still laugh when I remember the moment 

What an adventure my last 5 days have been.  My bosses went away for Mr Year 6's sleepover at his next years boarding school and all the excitement was here.   

The story start last Thursday when they left and life was normal... well not quite normal as it was raining which these days is rare.  We had 70 points.  The next morning in my PJ's (cause no one's around) I wander over to the pump shed 100m away to turn on the pump.  There on the ground are these fresh pig tracks, quite large and with a big stride (used those bush skills to determine all this information.  pretended to look like a tracker)    Later that day as I feed up all the animals I notice that the cheeky Porka had worked up to the back door, around between all the sheds and dogs. 

My story now skips to Friday night 8pm (don't cheer because I have speed the story up it wouldn't be a Lee-Anne story if it wasn't long winded)  I walk out onto the verandah to hear DOG (yeah my big brave kelpie protector) GROWLING like I have never heard before.  (growling from the inside of his kennel that is)

NOW at this point sheer terror (comes with being on the property alone)  made me flick on all the outside lights then race to my bedroom window and look out to see what DOG was barking at.  There disappearing over the levee bank not 20m away is 2 Xmas hams and a side of bacon which would have fed a 3rd world family for a lifetime.  I then spent 10min trying to find a big torch that didn't have a flat battery and a weapon in case KELLIE PORKA attacked.   

Once i was armed with the (wait for it) MOP and a large torch with a new batteries.  OF COURSE by this time the pig was long gone.  But i was still armed and dangerous.  Not sure what I was gonna do with the mop, looking back I could have walked up and asked the pig to start cleaning.  Or may be use the mope as a pole vault to get up a tree

Now I can hear the questions (stop groaning) about where the name Kellie Porka come from.  Kellie Clarkson happened to be on the Footy show last month and having not seen her since her American Idol days i noticed she had packed on 10 kg.  About the same amount as the pig who comes in every night eating all the mulberries every night.  

The only other thing of interest over the last few nights is we had a few minutes of hail stones the size of marbles.  never run so quick to get the car in the shed.  Doesn't really seem newsworthy after the Kelly Porka story

THE END