You are an employee not a member of the family or best friend. That is not to say you won't be close to them and be included on everything.
Your employers do not want to be a parent to their governess, they have their own children.
That is not to say they won’t support you when needed but they will expect you to act like an adult. They shouldn’t have to say clean up your room or use your manners. As an adult we are all responsible for our own behaviour.